How My Roommates And I Attempted To Drink 5 Gallons Of Orange Juice In Less Than A Month And Lived To Tell The Tale
In order to approach this challenge productively, I stored the five gallons by expiration date. Standing in front of my refrigerator, door ajar, a cold shiver ran through my body when I then realized my fate: two of the gallons expired on the same day. I would have to drink two of the gallons in the same 14 day window, and prosper long enough on my quest to then finish another two gallons beyond that.
Every liquid consumed in my household was hereby required to be a glass of orange juice in a 24-hour decree. At first, the challenge seemed laughable. Quirky. Citrus-scented. Orange juice flowed with abundance among friends for days. Though slowly, my reality began to unwravel. I began waking up with paper cups of half-dranken orange juice on countertops, and side tables. Before falling asleep, I would pour myself a glass or two of orange juice to take the edge off. I reflected on my addict-like tendencies, wondering when my next glass of juice would be in my future, how much I would need to drink to finish another bottle off. I became rich in vitamin C, but poor in judgement.
After consuming 2 gallons, and dreading my fate of the fast expiring third gallon: I received a message from a friend: “Who wants to hang out Saturday? I can bring some champagne.”
I immediately called for reinforcements.
“Me and my 3 gallons of orange juice are down.” I pleaded.
“Me and my 3 gallons of orange juice are down.” I pleaded.
The orange juice steadily remained a strong force in my life as days and weeks passed me by. Solemnly, I checked the date on the second to last gallon. The crippling fate of the challenge became too much for my well-hydrated and well-intentioned determination.
On a Sunday morning, I brought the remaining gallon and a half to my bathtub, pulling the curtain aside with one hand, and the juice heavy in the other. I held my breath and felt the repetitive thud of orange liquid splash wildly into the bathtub. It was an emotional and intimate scene. For what seemed like hours, I watched the juice finally depart from my life once and for all, and all for the better.