How My Roommates And I Attempted To Drink 5 Gallons Of Orange Juice In Less Than A Month And Lived To Tell The Tale
To approach this challenge productively, I stored the five gallons by expiration date. Standing in front of my refrigerator, door ajar, a cold shiver ran through my body when I then realized my fate: two of the gallons expired on the same day. I would have to drink two of the gallons in the same 14-day window, and prosper long enough on my quest to then finish another two gallons beyond that.
Every liquid consumed in my household was hereby required to be a glass of orange juice in a 24-hour decree. At first, the challenge seemed laughable. Quirky. Citrus-scented. Orange juice flowed with abundance among friends for days. Though slowly, my reality began to unravel. I began waking up with paper cups of half-drunken orange juice on countertops, and side tables. Before falling asleep, I would pour myself a glass or two of orange juice to take the edge off. I reflected on my addict-like tendencies, wondering when my next glass of juice would be in my future, and how much I would need to drink to finish another bottle off. I became rich in vitamin C, but poor in judgment.
After consuming 2 gallons, and dreading my fate of the fast-expiring third gallon: I received a message from a friend: “Who wants to hang out Saturday? I can bring some champagne.”
I immediately called for reinforcements.
“Me and my 3 gallons of orange juice are down.” I pleaded.
“Me and my 3 gallons of orange juice are down.” I pleaded.
The orange juice steadily remained a strong force in my life as days and weeks passed me by. Solemnly, I checked the date on the second to last remaining gallon. The crippling fate of the challenge became too much for my well-hydrated and well-intentioned determination.
On a Sunday morning, I brought the remaining gallon and a half to my bathtub, pulling the curtain aside with one hand, and the juice heavy in the other. I held my breath and felt the repetitive thud of orange liquid splash wildly into the bathtub. It was an emotional and intimate scene. For what seemed like hours, I watched the juice finally depart from my life once and for all, and all for the better.